Thursday, July 03, 2008

Iguana-Gate

I tried to ignore it. Pay it no mind. Turn mi head, chill, and walk the other day…to no avail. The blasted thing keeps slapping me in the face, to the point that it done leave hand prints all over my flicking face, with the blasted thumb now jukkin’ me in the eye.

From a previous post, I have made my blatant disdain for all things reptilian and amphibian quite clear, and it is with no regret that I tell all ya that I rolled my eyes and moved right along after reading about the wanton ‘murder’ of the Blue Iguanas. Shame on the alleged perpetrators. But at the end of the day, those lizards don’t affect me one way or the other, for they don’t pay my bills.

I read the editorials, the letters and the general societal outrage that was launched after Iguana-gate, which even spilled down to the school children. What a way to get the society involved!

Posters circulated via email with the dead carcasses (shock value?), proudly listing the increasing amounts of the reward for information leading to the capture of the demonic perpetrators. On seeing the reward, I even contemplated framing a friend or family member to collect the money, but alas, I refrained. One outraged member of the community called the travesty the “worst crime to happen on Cayman shores”. Now, I aint know which ‘shore’ they does be talking ‘bout, because nuff nuff things happen on this little rock that I deem to be worst that some ol’ lizards getting killed, and I am sure that there is more yet to come.

After the ‘murders’, a co-worker came around with hat in hand, begging for donations to supplement the lizard reward. I nearly tell she ‘bout she parts. Here I am, struggling to find gas; pay bills, and just live like the high maintenance Diva that I am, and I going be stupid enough to donate money for blasted lizard reward??? I don’t think so! Especially since a stupid green lizard had crept into my house previously to terrorize me. I spray that sucker with bleach, and nearly tear down the house to kill the monster. Nearly flicking well killed myself in the process.

Now, I feel like kicking rocks when I see all of the good natured organizations coming out of the woodworks to raise funds for the dead lizards and the breeding program, the likes of which was never seen when Brian Rankin-Carter was murdered, and his naked body callously discarded.

I read with trepidation the recent story of Boy, 14, who is walking a fine line of future criminality, and the prosecutors’ suggestion to send him off to Tranquility Bay, in Jamaica, because Cayman's Eagle House does not suit his needs. I now wonder if organizations will step up to the plate to help this human chil’. Maybe the unclaimed CI$11,000.00 can go toward the upkeep and maintenance of this young man and others like him, and maybe stave off the possibility that one day, they too might engage in a wanton act of murder of the human kind. Everyone came up with the lizard money real quick, so it would be nice to see donation emails circulating for this chil’ as well, and others just like him. Talk about flicking priorities.

But, it is obvious that I am biased. The dyam lizards look like dinosaurs. The nasty green ones are bad enough, much less the blue. Prettier notional colour, but still a repugnant reptile. And, when you pelt them, they don’t run from you either (not that I am confessing to anything)! Dyam reptiles! Yuck!! If only immigration could roll them over!
Like the adoption of the Chinese babies when there are also a whole heap of nappy haired African babies mullin’ ‘bout the place, Iguana-gate is now the ‘in’ cause. Ironically, in my not so humble opinion, these 'murders' may have been the best thing to ever happen to the breeding program.

On that laconic note, I shall now exit.
Ta ta...
'Fro
Ginger

6 comments:

Abeni said...

They taste nice:)

Jdid said...

raise money fa who?? not me. next thing ya know i give iguana money and he lend it to he cousin lil green lizard to get big shot lawyer to sue me fa pelting big rocks and shooting bow and arrow mek out of coconut branch at he when i was a chile and talkinbout how i is a criminal and cause he an he family emotional distress. no sir not me. lizard lawyer aint locking me up

Mighty Afroditee said...

Beni, I hear so too, but lawd, they so ugly, I would nevah! Yech!

Jdid - Glad to see you back ; )

Stunner said...

Ok... so you hate lizards. lol!

Collecting donations to capture the killers for lizards, dem nuh have anything better fi do? However, I agree the perpetrators should be persecuted for that savage act though.

Stunner said...

BTW Even though I said it on my blog, I'll say it again. Glad to hear from you!!!

Leon said...

Iguana-gate still has me smiling. I'm still surprised you Cays placed so much attention on a bunch of lizards. I guess it's 'cause we have bigger problems in Ja.