So, my Gynecologist and I have parted ways. We were just not working out anymore. We were no longer communicating, as I had felt a level of disinterest on his part, which increased my cynicism, and general discontent with the nature of our relationship.
Leading up to our separation, I often felt as if he were cheating on me, as he developed a habit of furtively accepting calls during my consultations, and rushing me from his office, though I had unanswered questions. This was unacceptable. We were ony meeting once per year, and he could not see fit to give me his undivided attention? What if he missed something?
When I questioned him about his penchant to multi-task during our sessions, he would develop what I deemed to be a condescending attitude, and attempted to reassure me that I was the only one. I knew this was not so, especially when I would wait patiently at our designated rendevous spot, and woman after woman would exit his office! He had started to double book!! Dates were cancelled at a short notice, and the trauma to end all traumas, he once interrupted my examination to answer his cell phone. This was the final straw for me, and I knew that I could no longer maintain such a self destructive relationship. I wanted it all or nothing.
How could he do this to me? We had been together for over ten years! He was there for the birth of my child! But, a woman's gotta do what a woman's gotta do, and I have started to see someone else. I have moved on. This does not appear to be a rebound relationship, and I do have some hope that we will be together for the long term.
Now that I have a new man in my life, my Ex keeps calling, and he now wants to talk! It is too late! He was no longer there for me! He did not give me the attention that I was deserved! He had taken me for granted, and is now affected by my absence. Worst yet, he acts as if I am betraying him by seeing another man! Little does he know that I had experimented with a woman, thinking that she would be more empathetic to my needs, but I was not comfortable with such a notion. Therefore, I have reverted to what I deem to be the natural order, and was lucky enough to find my new man.
How dare he feel betrayed?? Is it so wrong of me to selfishly look out for my personal interests? To have the constant reassurance that my annual check ups will go smoothly? To liase with a man that is attuned to my needs, and the additional comfort that I require in order to complete an uncomfortable examination? How could he! He is even attempting to be vindictive, and has yet to transer my records to my new man! I am afraid to collect them, for fear of what he will say, and I really cannot deal with the begging and the crying. It is over! I never thought that it would come to this.
It will take me quite a while to break in my new man, to familiarise him with my needs, the primary of which is that there be absolutely NO SMALL TALK during my examinations, for reasons that should be obvious to all and sundry. It took him a while to grasp this concept, but we are now getting along fabulously. He treats me the way a woman should be treated. He is kind, sensitive, and gentle, and turns off his phone when we are together. He does not scoff at my list of questions or research materials, and he is quick to advise and to update me on health issues that are affecting women today. He talks to me and apreciates me. So what if money trades hands at the end of our sessions? Is this not a liberated society? I pay him to keep me happy, and in turn, I support his high maintenance lifestyle. He is my kept man.
Maybe I do feel a pang now and again for my Ex, but I know that this is the self destructive part of me that is feeling this yearning, and that it must not be realised. I know that I shold not give him another chance, for why would I want to return to an abusive relationship, which often left me feeling exposed and inadequate? I stayed because I was comfortable. We had built a rapport, and history was on his side. But, history inevitably paves the way for the future, and the only thing that is sure in life, is change.
On that note, I shall now exit.