So, the Lady Lions are now the division 2 champions for the indoor five a side football league!!!!
We had our big final on Friday night, and I must say, all week leading up to the big game, my stomach was cramping, and nerves were killing me. I was OK when the Lady Lions were consistently in last place, and the underdogs for the tournament, but all of a sudden, we are in the play-offs and fighting for a championship trophy!
How the hell that happened, we have no idea !!! We entered a team for the lime and beer, and next thing you know, we are in a championship match. Did we make it simple? Nooo, there had to be drama. I almost crapped my pants. Tied at one all at the end of the game, we went into overtime. With no victor declared at the end of the overtime round, we went into a penalty shoot out. Still tied at the end of the penalty shoot out, we went into sudden death. Lawd.
I had a really nasty thought about a girl that played for our opponents, prior to the game . I felt really bad for having such a thought, because it was rather petty me. But, I gotta share this because it is so scandalous!
Anyway she weighs about one hundred pounds soaking wet, is about 4’9” tall; she has a slight mouthstach and beard, and she has no breasts of female curves to speak of. When I saw her, I thought that maybe the Lady Lions should protest her ability to play in the female league, until her gender was confirmed . Yes, I did feel bad for the thought, especially after speaking to her and realising that she was really cool, and I was being petty. Need I mention her baritone, at this point?
So, during the game, whilst young miss was attempting to control a ball with her hip, the ball deflected from her groin area. Now since I have been playing, I had seen this move completed numerous times, but I had never seen a woman curl up in the fetal position, holding her crotch, after effecting this move!
Is that not highly suspicious??? My entire team stared in stupefaction as she writhed on the floor clutching her crotch, but the messages transmitted by our raised eyebrows were quite clear. Needless to say, as we assessed and sussed after the game, the common consensus is that some form of hermaphrodite thingy may be going on with the lad….errr…young miss. My apologies.
Needless to say, we won, and went out to celebrate in we stinky, sweaty clothes. It was wonderful. We worked our way to a local hang out that was hosting a Miami Carnival kick off function. They did not want to let us in because of some dress code crap. After negotiating with the Manager who caved when he saw the size of our entourage, we went inside. In hindsight, the place was lucky that we graced them with our presence, cuz we were the only people there!!! Idjit.
Lawd, I danced and pranced as I have never done since…since…since…well…in a long time. It was also relaxing to be out in a mature environment where I did not have to worry about schtupid young idjits fighting and mashing up other people’s nice time!
Anyway, that is all done now, and I am now reaping the after effects . I woke up to a huge headache , and my knee is so swollen, that I cannot walk. I used this as an excuse to stay in bed all day, sleeping, reading and watching the telly.
Sigh. It was worth it!!!
On that note. I must now exit. Gotta refill the ice pack, and get some more Tiger Balm.