Friday, July 11, 2008

Urban = Ghetto

So, with the fro well tamed, feeling fabulous and quite diva-esque, I stepped into a licensed establishment, and proceeded to take a seat to await the arrival of my friends.

Our eyes met across the bar.

I watched in resignation and trepidation as he shored up his courage, took a deep breath, and tottered his way over. He would never have done it under normal circumstances, but I feel that the alcohol had given him some Dutch courage.

His introduction was shady, and though my annoyance and dismissive attitude was very clear, Dude persevered, until eventually, he engaged me in a manner that I just could not ignore.

Dude: You know, you have always worn your hair very urban.

‘Fro: [Eyebrow raised enquiringly] Urban? And what, pray tell do you mean by “urban”?

Dude: You know, urban; kinda…ghetto.

‘Fro: [Taking a deep breath, and deciding to engage] You know, in all my years, you are the first person to have ever referred to me as ghetto.

Dude: Oh, no, nah you, nah you! I doh mean you, I just mean…you wear your hair very urban.

‘Fro: And your definition of urban is ‘ghetto’? Have you ran this by Webster or Oxford, before you go about using words that you don’t know the meaning of?

Dude: [Scratching his head] No man, you doh understand wha’ I mean;

‘Fro: So, riddle me this, Batman, as a black woman, wearing my hair au natural, that automatically makes me ghetto?

Dude: [Shifting from foot to foot] Dah nah wha' I mean, and urban nah'a bad t’ing you know.

‘Fro: I see. So, if I should relax my hair, or get a weave down to my backside, what would that make me?

Dude: [Shifting nervously, and thinking] Errr….Suburban?

Now fair gentlepeople, this is where ya’ll have to give me props. I never told said dude about his ass; I remained calm, cool and collected, and frankly, I gave him up as a lost cause.

Some people just can’t be edumacated, and I don’t believe in wasting my time and energy on lost causes anymore.

This entire conversation was disturbing on so many levels, starting with Dude’s basic lack of common sense, which more and more I have realised, is indeed not common.

And on that note, I shall now exit.

Ta ta...




Stunner said...

You handled it well my friend. Maybe he had a little too much to drink.

Brotha Buck said...

I love a natural, natural. Naturally.


What a fool! Ghetto was soo the wrong word. He would have had much better luck if he had used the word ORIGINALE...

misscaffeineaddict said...

ghetto? damn... hood thing you hadn't had that much to drink...

Trouble said...

...maybe he shoul'da said, "ghetto ...Fabulous!"

...I guess that happens a lot when you have "bad-hair..." ;)

Mighty Afroditee said...

@Stunner: Let's call a Spade a spade, and an eedyat and eedyat.

@Brotha Buck: ;) You know JUST what to say to make me feel better. Thank you for blessing me with your essence.

@Cutie Pants: Yes, he is a fool, but, he would have had no luck either way. The alcohol just accentuated his stupidity further.

@MsAddict: Eedyat boys summation was not based on my behaviour and / or mode of dress, but by virture of the fact that I wear my hair au natural. To further enhance his formula:
"Urban" = Black and Ghetto.

@Trouble: I will only absorb the word 'fabulous' as accurate in your summation. For all else, as per usual, finger delicately raised in your general direction...

Jdid said...

i guess he wants ya to process it. personally i'm all for the natural hair. you keep rocking that fro sista

still trying to figure out why its urban or ghetto in his opinion though

Mad Bull said...

Suburban! Woyeee!!! LOL! No... I laugh till I weak!

Funny stuff, Afro!

Crankyputz said...

A hard smack, and be done with him

Abeni said...

lol, I expected rural..

Jdid said...

had to link to this in my latest post actually

Anonymous said...

I don't know how I've missed putting you on my blogroll! Love this spot! Welcome. By the by I found you via Brother Buck!

Mighty Afroditee said...

@Madame Ingrid: Thank you for stopping by and blessing me with your essence ; )

Simply Me said...

Am loving your blog!

Now back to the matter at hand.
A wey de?...Natural... Ghetto?

You were right, some people just simply cannot be educated. Dyam fool.