Saturday, April 07, 2007

Naughy Nefarious Nemesis!

So, whilst catching up on my very outdated blog reading last night, I took my usual jaunt over to the page of my arch nemesis, the evil villain and obnoxious spammer, Trouble (Insert evil theme song here), prepared to read with a sneer of the upper lip, and to render some insightful and thought provoking comments to his posts. Devil

Whilst there, I encountered the following ditty, composed by the man himself:

Ode to da Fro

Outspoken soul-sista
you had me at “Hell no!”
ranting raving misbehaving
I wax inquisitive,and need to know.
Are you au natural?
A ’60’s kinky curly girl,
Cicely or Pam Grier.
Hendrixonian heteroclite…
Heckler in hedonistic herecy,
with Oxy-cleaning action
you brillo-pad the world,
scrubbing crusty bullshit,
until freshly sparkling,
appears the truth.
Dark and sultry sage,
you are Yin to my Yang…
Not to mention how,
you augment my wang.
Anomalous Momos,
Where were you when
I was making the mistakes of youth.
In my penchant for noodging pixies,
and beer swilling sensualists,
I would have ‘picked’ you Fro.

“’Picked’ you Fro”…Lawd mi’ gut!! Get it!!! "Pick"??? Lol

As I continued to guffaw, tittering and wheezing, I automatically started to compose my poetic retaliation to his arrogant assumptions and presumptions (sneer of the upper lip continues), then realised that such an action could possibly ignite a turf war the likes of which Biggie/Tupac, Paris/Lindsay had never seen. Therefore, for the sake of peace and tranquility in Blogland, I stood down. Hmprh. {Flashing my gang symbol here}. All innocent by-standers, saved by my sacrifice, you may convey your thanks.

Leon, not offended at all. Here is an episode where I can use the metaphoric brillo pad to scrub the crusty and entertaining poetic bullshit, the likes of which can only be coined by such a Trouble-maker. Can you imagine if he was inclined to use his nefarious powers for good???

For those of who are more inclined to prose, and are of a non-poetic bent, check out the hilarious Cliff-Note break down of the Ode here.

On that note, I shall now exit. Sonny has returned home for the Easter hols, and it has been at least fifteen minutes since I harassed him. I need to make up for lost time.



Mad Bull said...

I thought you were going to Jam for a wedding and for Jamaica Carnival.

Mighty Afroditee said...

MB, I leave of Friday. Missed Beach J'Ouvert this weekend cuz my pumpkin DV is sick.

Schedule of events: Bacchanal J'Ouvert or Joker's next Friday, wedding on Saturday then Frenchman's on Saturday...Toodles...

Mad Bull said...

Frenchmen's!!! Aaaarrrrggghhhh!!!! Don't say that word! I am not able to go! It burns!!!!

By the way, Trouble said he couldn't catch you because you used to run fast. Looks like you are saying he can't catch you nowadays either, eh? ;-)

Abeni said...

What am I missing? You and Trouble linked up?

Mighty Afroditee said...

Lawd 'beni - MB is so scandalous. Ya'll goin' mek mi felow kick mi backside! No linking up. Mr. Trouble was jus' mekkin trouble as usual.

Jdid said...

i dont want to get caught in the crossfyah of no blogger war :-)

gishungwa said...

I love the ode. looks like a busy week ahead may ipretty please be your maid?then we can go to jam lol

Crankyputz said...

Me Duckin from the verbal bullets...

gela said...

Sigh of relief. Thank the lord, Blogwar1 has been averted. Now we can sleep knowing everything is alright in blogland.

Hey why don't ya just marry the chap and done 'fro? (I'm ducking the verbal missile coming for my head!)

Leon said...

Why'd I have to get caught in the crossfire. Glad you stood down, else we'd be split into two angry factions.

bakannal said...

lawd gyal!!! let's exchange schedules. bakannal fe so...

Elisa (Italy) said...

volevo farti i complimenti hai un sito bellissimo un abbraccio dall'Italia

Congratulations on a beautiful website
Loved everything on your site and you did a magnificent job. You should be proud of yourself
if youhave just a minute, visit me back and live a comment with your link, so other Italian people will be able to visit your blog

Ri said...

Afro -

Even you not bloggin - whats going on?

Gish said...

Where are you? i knew you needed a maid. Come back soonest

scratchie said...

Cho.....I was just gonna get some popcorn and watch the show........

bakannal said...

aye gyal!!!! way u at?

Gela said...

Lemme see now, last post was April 7th and today is May 9th, more dan one month. Is whe yu deh?

Was this post before or after the Jamaica trip. Hmmm, have to check that.

Thinking: Ah hope she not holed up in Ja with some man yu know. Man too scarce as it is for a foreigner to come get any. Grrrrr.