Thursday, April 23, 2009

Economic Downturn

I was waiting patiently for the arrival of my food at a local restaurant, when two ladies entered and proceeded to vociferously greet each other.

I initially marveled at their sense of sisterhood, then proceeded to eavesdrop shamelessly on their somewhat bawdy (and shamelessy loud) conversation.

Sissy, is weh yu' did deh?

Misses…recession lick me!

Yu' lie! Wha’pen to Peetah?

Bloodclaat….‘im lose ‘im wuk and gaan back a ‘im wife, an' fi ‘ar pum-pum nah sweet like fi mi!

Lawd, sah. A wah yu a go do now?

[Sighs] Mi nevah ‘affi do nuttin’ wen ‘im did deh-deh, now, cho! mi nah know sah!

Yu a go look wuk?

[Heaves in righteous indignation] No sah! Mi affi go fin’ nadda boops! Dat deh wuk a' fi mi wuk!

[Bawdy laughter. Back slapping. Gold teeth and tonsils flash from both parties]

It ruff sah…but wid fi yu sweet pum-pum, it nah go tek long!

[Laughter continues...parties exit...crickets chirp as restaurant occupants recover from the dialogue]

I was scintillated. So many questions: What was the yard stick used for Sissy’s measurement of the sweetness of her pum-pum, and how did her friend know to be able to comment on said sweetness? Is the sweetness a well known fact, or was she just being a supportive friend? Did Sissy have a set methodology to find a new boops? Was her pum-pum her CV? Would she register as unemployed with the Employment Relations Office? What were Sissy's boops benefits and for what period were they terminated? Was she on a work permit? Why would Peetah’s wife take him back? Could Petah's wife now effectively be called his ‘boops’ as he in turn recovered from the economic downturn???

The wenches shamelessly tossed out little scintillating facts, and jus’ leave people hanging!

An on that disgruntled note, I shall now exit.

Ta ta...




Will said...

1. there's a sort of litmus test for pum pum sweetness... but it's too technical to go into right now...

2. i didn't realise the caymani creole was so similar to the jamaican... you think it could be a matter of proximity? i never been to cayman, so i have no clue myself...

3. poor peetah... having to go back to his wife and all that... sigh...

Crankyputz said...

that made me crack up....

Will, do explain the litmus test...we are all interested in how we measure up...

Mighty Afroditee said...

@Will: The ladies were indeed Jamaican, and I was initially going to supplement the post with “[Dialogue to be read in a strong Jamaica accent…]” but was too lazy…

My question is, how can the donor of the pum-pum effectively comment on its sweetness? Is that not for the pum-pum recipient to comment?

And how can the donee verify the truth of the ‘sweetness” claims, and know to separate fact from fiction/B.S?

And, unless she has experience the so-called sweetness, how can her friend comment, unless she heard about it from other people?

And, can the pum-pum of itself be sweet, or is it through the manipulations and workings of the torso as well??? What kidn of litmus test?? You cannot just drop a comment like that in isolation and not elaborate, bucko.

Stunner said...

Hahahah! That was one funny post. I wonder if she will soon start give discounts fi attract new users of the sweet pum pum, in these hard economic times. It's really sad that some women, choose to survive that way though.

GC (God's Child) said...

there's more to sweet pum pum than technique I think, perhaps a psychological affect
not that I would know. . .

Anonymous said...

Well apparently my Jamaican accent reading is a little rusty (nonexistent), so the main message I got out of this is that sweet pum-pums and boops bring people great joy. Nevertheless, good post!

Jdid said...

ha ha ha. i love it.
as regards your questions I think that the pum pum holder is allowed to big up the sweetness of the pum pum since like any interviewee for a position some confidence is necessary. imagine if the boops interviewing the applicant and they start hemming and hawwing as to the sweetness of said pum pum. no sar dat naa gone mek it. ya have to be confident that your pum pum a de sweetest.

as for the friend confirming the said sweetness i'd say she was juss massaging her ego, trying to give her additional confidence similar to when a guy tells his bredren you are the man, or you a di don my yout.

Abeni said...

The woman going by the satisfaction of her past clients. Who knows the one complementing her on her pum pum sweetness probably had a disgruntled man tell her of said friend's sweetness.

Lol I tried

Jdid said...

ps: i just saw an article from the huffington post that just reminded me of your post

lets see if i can link it


Ruthibelle said...

of course working is not an option... was her friend kidding? expecting her to go and ,i>work,/i> for money when she could just find another boops?? *scoffs* what retrogade thinking!

lmao- interestin post this

Anonymous said...


Mad Bull said...

You didn't hear that!?

They didn't say all that in public!?

Which restaurant that?

I need inspiration for blog posts too, y'know!

Leon said...

The only way I can think of to test the sweetness of the pum pum is a tightness/taste test.

Anonymous said...

Real Caribbean woman ... faas nuh raas!

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