Monday, March 19, 2007

The Evil Stepmother

[Excerpt from phone call to Sonny in Barbados]

‘Fro: Your Granddad is getting married
Sonny: [Shocked] Really??? To who???
‘Fro: His girlfriend, I guess.
Sonny: Wow! I didn’t know that ol' people were even attracted to each other!
‘Fro: [Brekking up wid laffter] Wha’??? Wha’ kind of thing is that to say???
Sonny: I didn’t mean it like that, Mom!! I jus’ thought they saw each other as we see them, you know, ol’ and wrinkly and stuff…

From the mouths of (obnoxious) babes.

So, my old fart of a father, pushing seventy if there ever is a day, is getting hitched to a young hussy who is more than twenty years his junior. I guess it sounds more scandalous when we mention the twenty year differential, but when I break it down to say that she is forty three, it does not sound as scandalous and illicit.

The news spread amongst his five chillun like wildfire, and immediately, a fambily caucus was convened at the closest house of choice. We had visions of a scantily clad wench donned in blood red lipstick, plotting to milk our father of his Trump-esque fortune, which drove us to immediately research and assess the nature and legalities regarding said holdings. It was so jokey, especially when we realized that the status quo will remain: there are no holdings. But it was the principle of the thing, and the drama was quite exciting.

Anyway, after meeting with Daddy, and organizing a sit down with the hussy…who was not really a hussy after all, but a well meaning woman who is apparently in love with the old fart, I have come to realize how this can now complicate my once relatively uncomplicated life. She is another dynamic that we chillun must now consider, because much as we would like to deny it, she will now become a part of our lives, distant though it may be. I had never factored a possible third party interloper affecting the matriarchal and / or patriarchal standing in my fambily. Us against the world, spearheaded by my divorced parents. Now, another individual has the potential to affect policy and procedures within my family, as they also have access to my Daddy. Sigh.

But, from general observation, it does seem as if the conventional family is almost extinct. Sonny has a stepmother and a ‘half’ sister, and (god forbid!) should I marry and have a child / more children, he will in effect have two families. Sigh. Shifting social conventions and the redefinition of societal norms. A sociological debate that is well served with a cold beer.

Anyway, Dads is getting married in Jamaica next month, and the gang a we is all flying out to wish him our continual love and support, as good chillun do. Coincidentally, the chillun (but for the newly baptized lamb) can also get on wild and wassy and take in some Jamaica carnival festivities. I just hope that I can suitably remove the hangover, mud and paint from J’ouvert, to be able to pull myself together to look suitably dainty and delicate for the wedding. No one should ever critique my ability to multi-task.

On that note, I shall now exit.

Toodles

'Fro

Ginger





13 comments:

Crankyputz said...

Congrats to Gramps, Though I must say, I gettin married once, if it don't work out, there will NEVA be a next time...I shall live in sin there after...

Mighty Afroditee said...

Amen, Ms. C, Amen!!!!

Abeni said...

It must feel weird fro..I remember when my father had this girlfriend and I was not happy to say the least.Here was this person taking up his time to the extent that he hardly had time for me.So you know I had lovely visions of her death.

Mad Bull said...

Funnee! Multitask yes, my girl!

megrat said...

yeah mighty afroditee - hope your arse does not fall asleep on the side of the road again!

Mighty Afroditee said...

I was resting my eyes!!! And stop airing my dirty / sleepy laundry! Cho!

Elisa (Italia) said...

Ciao
volevo farti i complimenti hai un sito bellissimo un abbraccio dall'Italia
Elisa


Congratulations on a beautiful website
Loved everything on your site and you did a magnificent job. You should be proud of yourself

Mighty Afroditee said...

Miss Elisa, thanx for stopping by. To make sure that you were not cussing me in Italian, I visited an on-line translator ; )

Brotha Buck said...

Yea, the conventional family is long gone. My family is the perfect example, very complicated.

Mighty Afroditee said...

...ahhhh Brotha Buck, you have blessed me with your presence...

Jdid said...

well congrats to your dad. man even old people ned some companionship ya kno

gela said...

Oh that's funny. So you're coming to Jamaica? Will that be your first time?

Anonymous said...

It must feel weird fro..I remember when my father had this girlfriend and I was not happy to say the least.
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