Rally 'Roun the Future of the West Indies...

So, hear ye! Hear Ye! Hear Ye! Knoweth all that ye have read it here first.

For the past year, my Sonny, the Creep, who I had previously described as a non-Athletic nerd (I say with a Mother's love) much to mine and his father's dismay, has gotten all caught up in the cricket fever. Yes. He is playing cricket.

When he first indicated his interest in cricket to his father, shock rendered Sonny's Dad speechless, and I was the same when the information was relayed to me. After getting over the initial shock, Sonny's Dad went to the nearest sporting goods store, and purchased the finest cricket gear that could be found on that side of the Caribbean. Sonny's Dad was as proud as a peacock because he could finally toss a ball around in the yard and talk cricket statistics in a manly manner with his son. In turn, I started to read up on cricket (yawn), and Sonny and I would watch tests on TV when he was in Cayman (yawn..yawn...). He would regale me with tales about his perfected 'Yorker'., and the style and technique used to perfect the same (Yawn...yawn...yawn!).

Sad fact is, we realised that Sonny had a decided lack of coordination, which made him ...well...terrible...though he participated with zest and vigour! And, he had the best gear on the cricket pitch! His cricket whites were continually fresh and crispy, and no one could attain Ducks when batting, with the style, grace and enthusiasm as my Sonny! So what if his team groaned and moaned when he was up to bat (Little Jerks!)?

Though he was all around...well...terrible at the game, my Sonny was very pragmatic about it. He would regale me with tales of his misses and Ducks with a form of optimism that...well...entertained...me like no other. His devious little mind went to work when he took his fancy cricket bat to school and advised his scholmates that they could not use his bat if he did not get to play. Yes. He used the old 'blackmail them with the equipment' technique! He manipulated and contrived and stuck to it. Of course, being the wonderful and loving mother that I am, I supported, encouraged and advised that all would be well (Please note this aspect for his future biography). But, I was still pragmatic enough to realise that my son would never be the supreme world class athlete that would support his mother in the method to which she is unaccustomed. Sigh. There would be no bling in my future.

But...stop the presses! Sonny has now informed me that he scored 49 runs in a match and he has taken all of five wickets during the current school term!!! Yes! From Ducks to 49, and now a world class bowler!!! One run away from a half century!!! Windies: Here comes your future new recruit!! Paltry records for the most runs scored will be broken in no time!!

Of course, I uttered the necessary loving platitudes and congratulations (yes, I was able to hide my shock), and I am ashamed to admit that I had to further verify the information with Sonny's Dad. I was afraid that Sonny had miscounted, or was counting the runs by tens. Sonny's Dad was as much shocked as I was, and sought to reassure me that all was well, and that Sonny had not jacked himself up on steroids, or had even employed a pinch batter.

After I got off of the phone, I of course circulated the news to the Cayman family, and this is the part where I became disgruntled on Sonny's behalf. All and sundry were doubtful of Sonny's runs, and someone even demanded an audit! Mi mudda ask me if Sonny cork he bat! I am sooo offended! Dem tek me son mek sport! Hmprh. No respect. Brings to mind the words of the great David Rudder:

"Michael should'a lef' long time,

I heard an angry brother call;

Caribbean man...that , that, that,

THAT is the root of our trouble!"

Well, once again knoweth all that ye have read it hear first. When Sonny becomes the first Caymanian to mek the Windies team, he (and I) will have the last laugh! Sonny has dual citizenship, but the Bajans got nuff players on the Windies' team, so we will use the Caymanian nationality. I have it all planned.

When I am sipping Mimosas in the grand stand in Pakistan...well maybe not - 'fraid'a terrorists, make it...Australia...yeah! When I am sipping Mimosa's in the grand stand in Australia, watching Sonny go up to bat, I will wave to the losers watching on TV at home in the wee hours of the morning! He may be my meal ticket after all!!

Early Retirement, here I come!! Yippee....!!!

On that note, I must now exit.

Ta.