Urban = Ghetto

So, with the fro well tamed, feeling fabulous and quite diva-esque, I stepped into a licensed establishment, and proceeded to take a seat to await the arrival of my friends.

Our eyes met across the bar.

I watched in resignation and trepidation as he shored up his courage, took a deep breath, and tottered his way over. He would never have done it under normal circumstances, but I feel that the alcohol had given him some Dutch courage.

His introduction was shady, and though my annoyance and dismissive attitude was very clear, Dude persevered, until eventually, he engaged me in a manner that I just could not ignore.

Dude: You know, you have always worn your hair very urban.

‘Fro: [Eyebrow raised enquiringly] Urban? And what, pray tell do you mean by “urban”?

Dude: You know, urban; kinda…ghetto.

‘Fro: [Taking a deep breath, and deciding to engage] You know, in all my years, you are the first person to have ever referred to me as ghetto.

Dude: Oh, no, nah you, nah you! I doh mean you, I just mean…you wear your hair very urban.

‘Fro: And your definition of urban is ‘ghetto’? Have you ran this by Webster or Oxford, before you go about using words that you don’t know the meaning of?

Dude: [Scratching his head] No man, you doh understand wha’ I mean;

‘Fro: So, riddle me this, Batman, as a black woman, wearing my hair au natural, that automatically makes me ghetto?

Dude: [Shifting from foot to foot] Dah nah wha' I mean, and urban nah'a bad t’ing you know.

‘Fro: I see. So, if I should relax my hair, or get a weave down to my backside, what would that make me?

Dude: [Shifting nervously, and thinking] Errr….Suburban?

Now fair gentlepeople, this is where ya’ll have to give me props. I never told said dude about his ass; I remained calm, cool and collected, and frankly, I gave him up as a lost cause.

Some people just can’t be edumacated, and I don’t believe in wasting my time and energy on lost causes anymore.

This entire conversation was disturbing on so many levels, starting with Dude’s basic lack of common sense, which more and more I have realised, is indeed not common.

And on that note, I shall now exit.

Ta ta...

'Fro